There are always people in your life that are important. For one reason or another, they have found their way into your heart, and you will forever render them a part of yourself. Some of these people are in your life because whether you like it or not, they were born that way.

Introducing my person...

From birth I have had him. He is older than me by three months almost to the day, and ever since I can remember he has been there. From my teenage mutant ninja turtles, to the last piece of pizza, the two of us have shared everything. He taught me how to ride a skateboard, catch lizards in the desert, shoot a paintball gun, and a number of other absurd skills that have made our time together so special. Every major milestone, from birthdays to high school and everything in between, have been ok due to the fact I have always had my cousin, Kenny. Nothing ever came close to hurting, because as long as I had my partner in crime, the world never really stood a chance. Even at the worst times of all, we always had each others' backs. There was never anything that happened that we couldn't talk about and work through. That's the point of having a person that you are brought into the world with. You are born to protect each other, and fight off all the things that put the other person in harms way...

However, sometimes bigger things happen that you can't control. No matter what you do, it is impossible for you to fix something that you have absolutely no control of. Almost three years ago now, that happened to us. I began losing Kenny in a way that I can't describe. There was nothing I could do, think, or say to fix what was happening. I was just standing there, helpless in an effort to fix what was broken. I can't even BEGIN to explain what that feels like. I would give up my life for Kenny. Plain and simple. I can't imagine existing in a world that he doesn't, which is why the passed three years of my life have been so hard. Being in a place so far removed from him, only hearing from him on rare occasion has been nearly impossible to handle. When you think about someone on a constant basis, never quite sure what is happening or going through their head, you can begin to drive yourself crazy with possibilities. When this starts happening, I try to remind myself that this isn't about me.



This is about you Kenny. You getting better, fixing what is broken, and beginning to be the person you and I both know that you can and will be. Even though you and I aren't in the same place in life like we've always been, I have no doubt that at some point we will be. Because quite frankly, we were put on this Earth to do so. And even if you have to work through things your way while I do them my way, that is fine. The things that make you you and me me are the things that make us love each other. And that's just it. I love you. Always have, and I always will. And I believe in you, all of the time, even when you forget to believe in yourself. And no matter what goes on, the worst of the worst or the best of the best, I will always be here. I am always a phone call or a plane ride away, no matter where in the world our lives take us from here. NEVER EVER FORGET THAT.

I said it to you once, but I'll say it again for good measure...

Maybe you don't want to talk right now, but I do. Maybe you can't see just how much we need each other, but I do. Maybe you don't understand that I love you.... and that I will forever. It doesn't matter what you do, or say, or feel, or think. Because we are stuck... Stuck in this situation where I have you, and you have me. You may think that where I am and where you are is so different that we can never truly be as we were, but I know we can. And maybe that is the point of the whole thing. Maybe right now you need me to know that we are going to be ok, whether ok happens tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that... Because someday you are gonna get it. And maybe that is the day that I'm going to need you to remind me. Maybe that'll be the day that I am so lost in the world that I'll need you to remind me that for forever, you'll be waiting for me just like I'm here now waiting for you... I don't know how to go back, how to rewind to when it was easy and we both just knew it would all be ok... But I guess we just move forward until we find it again, in a new way, but still all the same... Until then, I'm here... Holding on to us until you remember to grab on too...